Loud Falls
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: The Inconveniencing AU! The Loud family is ripped from their home and thrown into the middle of gravity falls! How will they survive in a harsh land where reality hits hard and wacky hijinks aren't appreciated? Dipper X Harem, Lincoln X Harem!
1. Chapter 1

Loud Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ATTENTION EVERYONE! I'll be briefly breaking my Hiatus and having a Halloween contest. I'll be posting Halloween themed stories, horror themed, or one's that end with a cliff-hanger! The story that gets the most reviews, will be the one I update on Halloween!(and maybe a few other surprises. heh. heh.)**

 **And don't forget to check out my new "Shake Up the Falls" Challenge!**

…...

It was a typical day at the Loud house. Luna loud was breaking the sound barrier with her guitar, Luan Loud was throwing pies everywhere, Lynn Loud was tearing up the carpet...and the walls with her cleats, and Lisa Loud was blowing stuff up...

Yes, this is what Mom and Dad Loud drove away from when they took Lilly for her check-up...just another crazy day at the Loud house...

 **ZAP!**

The instant they left, Slenderman showed up on the front lawn. Breathed in the savory aroma of chaos and discord. Then snapped his fingers-

 **ZAP!**

And just like that...the Loud House vanished from that universe forever...

…...

Dipper and Mabel Pines yawned as they woke up, with that whole Gideon crisis they'd had last night...they'd barely slept at all...They briefly greeted each other and started walking toward the bathroom to wash up-

 **CRASH!**

The entire Mystery Shack shook! Sensing a new mystery to solve Dipper eagerly ran outside...and he wasn't disappointed.

Right in front of the shack...was a house! Suddenly, the door opened and out popped a 16-year old blond girl. Leni Loud bent over to pick up the newspaper, locked up to see if that cute mailman was up and about...instead she sees the Mystery Shack and the very surprised residents staring at her in disbelief.

Leni just looks at them for a brief moment, before turning around to shout back into the house: "Hey guys! When did mom get new lawn ornaments!?"

This did not help to lessen the Mystery Shack gangs confusion...

…...

After the dust settled; the Pines family found themselves the neighbors of a 'diverse' collection of children...

"Wait your all siblings?" Asked Mabel amazed. Luan laughed. "Yep, I guess you could were one short of a **dime a dozen!** " She quipped. Mabel laughed as everyone else groaned...

Of course Stan called the cops...

Sheriff Blubs takes one look at the whole mess...and shakes his head. "Nuts to this! I got bowling in five minutes! Their your responsibility Stan!" He said dismissively as he walked back to his car.

Stan just glared. "Remind me again why you two still have jobs?" Stated Stan flatly. Blubs smirked. "Without at least two cops, Gravity Falls gets demoted from 'town' to 'abandoned farm land'...and you lose all the government benefits that come with it." Points out Blubs.

Stan groaned. "Right, that...

…...

Stan was more then happy to share money for food...provided they work for it of course... And that's how the Loud Family started to work at the Mystery Shack.

"BEHOLD! THE TEN HEADED FREAKAZOID!" Shouted Stan as he unveiled the loud family (poorly) disguised as a 10 headed monster...so of course the tourists lapped it up...

"Seriously? Their actually buying this?" Asked Lori in disbelief. "Annnnd my opinion of the human race goes down another notch." Admits Lisa.

"Trust me it only gets worse." Says a resigned Dipper as he wears his Wolf-Boy outfit...

…..

For the next couple of days things went on as usual-

 **BOOM!**

-Well, 'usual' for the Loud house anyway...

 **SMASH!**

"Parkour!" Shouts Lynn.

 **WHAM!**

"GIVE BACK MY SWEATER!" Shouts Lori.

 **CRASH!**

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Shouts Lisa

 **NEWT!**

...which is anything but 'usual' to the Mystery Shack.

Stan, Wendy, Soos, Mabel and Dipper just looked at the chaos in stunned silence...

"Uh, Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"If I ever complain about our sibling relationship again...hit me in the face with a shovel, please?"

…..."Only if you do the same for me."

"Deal."

…...

For the most part The pines twins and their co-workers gave the Loud kids a wide berth(The only exception being Luan and mabel...they were just too much fun!)...that all changed one faithful day...

…..

Dippers eyes widened. "DRAGONS!? I CAN SUMMON DRAGONS!?"...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Loud Falls ch. 2**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA TO PUT IN YOUR CANDY BAG!**

 **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

…...

"What do you mean it doesn't exist!?" Snapped Lori at Tambry. Tambry shrugs. "I don't know what to tell you, I've looked up the name of the cellphone signal provider you've given me...and the company doesn't exist."

Lori fummed she'd been going through serious cellphone and Bobby withdrawal since coming here..Wendy's comments...hadn't helped...

…A couple days ago...

 _Look...don't get me wrong...it sorta sounds nice that he seems to worship the ground you walk on...but do you really have a stable, healthy relationship?" Asks Wendy concerned._

" _How can you say that? Of course we do!" Snaps Lori._

" _Alright...can you tell me what his hobbies are? His likes and dislikes...or when was the last time YOU did something nice for HIM?"_

 _Lori smugly smiled. Opened her mouth...then turned pale...she couldn't answer..._

" _I...that is...whatever! What do you know!" Shouts a panicked Lori as she quickly ran from the room._

…..

Those hard questions...despite Lori's best efforts...lingered on... _Is she right?...is our relationship unequal?...Now that I think about it...we only ever did what I wanted...what dose that say about Bobby?...what dose that say about Me? I- NO! What am I doing!? I'm over thinking this! I just...I just need to get my phone working again...just need to get back to Bobby...and I'll be fine...EVERYTHING will be fine._ Rationalized Lori to herself desperately.

She was so busy focusing on her ever growing inner-turmoil...she missed the conversation in front of her...

"Thanks for these snacks Lincoln. Your a really good chef." Compliments Tambry. Lincoln flusters under the attention the cute older girl was giving him.

Meanwhile, Lisa was examining some peculiar readings emanating around the 'Loud House'. While a bored Luan was passively searching for another pranking opportunity.

"Mable do you believe in Dragons?" Asked Dipper. "I believe your a big dork!" Retorts Mable with a laugh.

Luan gains an evil smile, she smelled 'blood' in the water. She quickly asks what's going on and Dipper explains he found a ritual to summon dragons in his journal...but needs help getting the offering in place while he did the ritual(while pointedly ignoring the cucko-cucko gesture Mable was making behind his back).

Luan smiles, and offers to help and recruit the others to help. The wheels already turning in her head.

 _This is my best idea ever..._

…later that night...

 _This was my worst idea ever..._

Realized Luan. It had been such a simple plan: recruit her other siblings, Mable, Wendy, and Tambry...and have them make a fake dragon to prank Dipper...foolproof plan!

 _Except for the part where Dipper wasn't crazy...and he summoned a real dragon!_

Thought a terrified Luan as she and everyone else huddled in fear at the side of the cave...well...ALMOST everyone...

"And then I said: that's not a chupacabra...that's my mom!" Joked Dipper with the Dragon. The fearsome beast let out a roar of laughter. "BOY, YOU SLAY ME!" He remarked.

Everyone was amazed...Dipper...was not afraid at all! He just walked right up to the dragon after he summoned it...and asked it question after question about Dragons, Gravity falls, and the supernatural! Very insightful questions too...the Loud siblings would never look at a bar of soap the same way again!

Eventually the dragon stopped the conversation. "WELL...THIS HAS BEEN FUN...BUT I NEED TO GET GOING...KINDLY GIVE ME MY OFFERING AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY."

Dipper nodded and turned to the others. "Alright guys, bring it out!"

There was a long awkward silence. "Right...uh, Dipper...we kinda didn't get it." Admitted Wendy awkwardly.

Dipper looked at them horrified. "What!? Why!?"

 **PAUSE**

Slenderman took off his dragon costume and winked at the reader...he then put it back on and restarted time.

 **UNPAUSE**

"I THINK I KNOW." Said the 'Dragon' as it reached behind some boulders...and pulled out a fake dragon.

The Dragon shook his head. "LOOKS LIKE THEY WASTED THEIR TIME TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOU, BOY."

Dipper looked at everyone else...the hurt clear on his face. "I...is this true?"

Luan was suddenly very uncomfortable. This was all wrong! Whenever she pranked someone...at worse they would be annoyed...but this...this was...she didn't even know! The devastated look Dipper was giving her...for the first time ever...Luan didn't feel so jolly...

"Dipper...it was just a joke!" Interjected Mable.

It was obvious that Dipper was really trying hard not to cry at this point. "I..I can't believe this...you guys never believed in me? Did you just think I was nuts?"

"Whoa, look Dipper. You were right! We were wrong! If anyone's nuts here, it's us!" Shouted Wendy as she tried to defuse the situation...

"AS HEARTWRENCHING AS THIS IS...BY THE ANCIENT LAWS...NO OFFERING MEANS I'M REQUIRED TO EAT YOU..."

"WHAT!?"

Screamed everyone...except Dipper...he was just mad. "Oh, for the love of- I told you that would be the consequence; FIVE TIMES! On top of everything you weren't listening to me either!?" He shouts livid.

The dragon nods. "IT WOULD SEEM SO...TELL YOU WHAT MY BOY...SINCE I LIKE YOU...AND SINCE YOU WEREN'T PARTY TO ME NOT GETTING AN OFFERING...HOW ABOUT I LET YOU GO AND ONLY EAT THE REST?"

He then rounds against everyone else, cutting off all their escape routes, all 20 feet of him was towering over them, his several hundred rows of razor sharp teeth were mere inches away from their face...and his breath reeked of brimstone and corpses.

The group wasn't ashamed to admit it...they all wet themselves while crying for mercy.

"-I can't let you do that"

Those soft spoken words somehow reverberated around the room...much to everyone's shook.

 _After all that...he's defending us?_ They think amazed...not sure how to feel about that...

The dragon snorted. "SORRY BOY...ANCIENT LAWS SAY I GOTTA DO THIS...HONESTLY, I'M PUSHING THINGS AS IT IS LETTING 'YOU' GO."

Dipper sighed. "Is there no way to save them?"

The dragon paused as if in deep thought. "WELL...TO BE HONEST...I'M NOT THAT HUNGRY...ATE FORTY VIRGINS BEFORE COMING HERE Y'KNOW...PERHAPS YOU COULD GIVE ME A SMALL OFFERING? IF NOT A CARCASS, I'LL ACCEPT GOLD, SILVER AND TRAVEL BONDS."

Dipper sighed. "Yeah...I don't have that...anything else?"

Again the dragon seemed to think on this. "WELL...THERE'S ALSO THE ALMOST FORGOTTEN TRADITION OF DANCING IN THE FORM OF OUR FAVORITE FOOD FOR OUR AMUSEMENT...MINE IS ROASTED LAMB."

Dipper gives a resigned sigh. "Of course it is..."

…...

"Well...who wants a Lamby, Lamby, Lamby?"

 **FWOOM!**

The dragon breathed fire on Dipper in between each verse(as was tradition...apparently). Each time Dipper cried out in pain. Each time the dragon offered to let him go home. Each time Dipper fought through the pain, dusted off the sooty rags that used be his clothes(and a lamb suit the dragon mystically summoned), and stood back up to sing the next verse. And repeat.

Every so often the dragon also blew an impish smoke ring toward the group...who watched Dipper with both amazement and tears.

 _Wow...Dipper...your really something else._ Thinks Wendy amazed.

 _There is no way this kid is only twelve years old...just no way!_ Thinks Lori to herself astonished.

 _I feel weird...this kid is like a clearance sale, new shirt, and new boots...but somehow better!_ Thinks Leni astounded.

 _Wow...I never thought I'd say this...but Mick Swaggers got nothing on this guy!_ Thinks Luna confounded(but in a good way).

 _After all I did...he's doing this...to save me?_ Thinks Luan...suddenly overwhelmed with strange new feelings.

 _Whoa...this kid is hard core!_ Thinks Lynn impressed.

Yes; between Dippers bravery, dedication, sacrifice, and strength...the older girls found their hearts racing...

That, plus the fact that the rings of smoke blown at them were laced with bits of a watered-down love potion...but really, that was just throwing logs on an already roaring fire.

The 'dragon' saw this too...and smirked...told them he was satisfied...blew one more smoke ring at Dipper(this one laced with essence of 'Ode to Reality Hits hard'), and then vanished...

...well... actually; Slenderman just turned invisible, discarded his disguise, and stayed to watch the 'fireworks'...

After the 'dragon' had 'vanished'...for a long while...no one said anything...then when it sank in that they WEREN'T going to be eaten.

HOORAY!

They all screamed. They then ran to give their hero a much needed congratulations-

"SHUT UP!" Screamed Dipper suddenly. The look of devastated anger in his eyes stopped them all cold.

Lori tried to get a handle on things. "Dipper Wha-

"I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FELT LIKE I HAD FRIENDS! I FELT LIKE I BELONGED! I FELT LIKE I WAS NORMAL!" Screamed Dipper in tears.

Everyone was dumbstruck! They had no idea how to respond to that!

Luna tried to get a word in. "Dipper, we didn't-

"ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN THE LOSER WHO'S PICKED LAST! THE OUTCAST WHO NEVER GETS VALENTINES! THE FREAK THAT STABBED HIMSELF WITH A KNIFE TO FAKE APPENDICITIS TO SEE IF ANYONE WOULD NOTICE OR CARE- WHICH THEY DIDN'T!"

With each bleak confession...the girls felt their hearts wither...the feelings of guilt and despair taking hold...

Despite having tears in her eyes, Luan tried to fix it. "Wait, Dipper, this is my faul-

But Dipper wasn't finished.

"And you!- points at Wendy -I thought you were different! I thought you cared! I thought you were one of the coolest person I've ever meet! I LOVED YOU! Out of everyone here I think expected better from you!-Dipper scoffs at himself -I guess I'm a loser for that too!"

Wendy felt her heart shatter, she was in tears too now. "Dipper I-

But Dipper was already wheeling on his next target. "AND YOU!"

Mabel points to herself confused and more than a little scared. "Me?" She whimpers.

"I could understand everyone else doing this...but you? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE THE CRAP I'VE HAD TO GO THROUGH! YOU WERE THERE FOR MOST OF IT!"

Mable was now in tears. "But I-

"AND ANOTHER THING! YOU KNOW THAT THE SUPERNATURAL EXIST! YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT MEANS TO ME! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MAKES ME HAPPY! YET STILL YOU MOCK ME FOR IT! STILL, YOU RIDICULE ME! IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY WEEK I HAVE TO REPROVE MYSELF TO YOU! YET YOU NEVER CARE ENOUGH TO LET IT STICK! NEXT WEEK IT'S THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN! LIKE WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH MEANS NOTHING TO YOU!"

"Dipper I-

"WELL I'M DONE! YOU THINK MY HOBBIES AND TALENTS ARE SO STUPID AND DORKY...WELL YOU KNOW WHAT!? FINE! I'LL NEVER BOTHER YOU WITH THEM AGAIN! BETTER YET; I'LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN EITHER! HOW'S THAT!?"

Screams Dipper as he storms out of the cave...leaving a sobbing Sister...and a lot of broken hearted and confused older girls.

"Uh...what just happened?" Asked a dumbfounded Luna.

For the first time EVER...Leni was in deep thought. "Wait...I'm confused...the main conflict is over...we had a lot of crazy hi-jinks...it's been over 22 minutes...shouldn't everything be wrapped up by now?"

Lisa was also confused. "That...IS the usual 'Status Quo' for us..."

Hearing this, Mable suddenly laughs. "Yes! That's it for us too! The good, old Status Quo! Dipper can't possibly stay mad at me! I'm his loveable, quirky, goofy sister! In fact-

She runs up to the cave door. -he should be coming back to a tearful hug...right now!"

There was a long awkward silence as nothing happened.

"Right now!"

Once again...nothing happens...

"RIGHT NOW!"

...Nothing.

"NOW!"

...Zilch.

"NOW!"

...Nada.

"NOW!" Shouts Mable as she starts to cry again...

Everyone could only watch helplessly as she shouts this several more times...before a concerned Wendy finally grabs her-

"MABEL!...he's gone..." Mabel just looks at the redhead for a second...then hugs her and bursts into tears...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Loud Falls ch. 3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

Lincoln felt ashamed...looking back he wondered if he'd just done something...this whole disaster could've been avoided..

when he heard that Luan was doing another prank...he hadn't helped her(he could never put another guy through what he was put through-)...but he hadn't STOPPED her either(-which was balanced only by his desire to NOT get pranked himself by Luan in revenge)...

Still tonight's prank...true Luan's pranks could get a bit crazy sometimes...but this just got out of hand!

A sobbing Mable was helped along by a broken hearted Wendy...who was in turn followed by his Sullen sisters...

Now Lincoln knew that he was no expert when it came to girls...but it was pretty obvious that at least half his sisters were developing feelings for Dipper...he knew he should be upset by that...

 _Oh, who are you kidding Lincoln? You lost any right to a say in that matter when you ran like a coward when the dragon appeared..and left your sisters to almost die..._ Yes, Lincoln was truly ashamed...

Lori was the first to truly muster herself up and try to comfort the sobbing girl "Look, Mable, sweetie? I really don't think you have anything to worry about! Me and my siblings fight all the time! Punches are thrown, things are said- But we always get it together in the end! You'll see! I'm sure Dipper has already calmed down, and he's waiting at the Shack to give you a big old apology hug!"...

...

"What do you mean he left!?" Shouted Lori in disbelief. Apparently Dipper came back to the Shack only long enough to pack up and leave...and left a note.

 **Need to be alone for awhile...need time to think...**

 **I just can't be around Mable right now...I don't trust myself to NOT do something I'll regret...**

This- needless to say -did nothing to improve Mable's depression. Somehow Mable found a way to make herself sob even harder...

A melancholy Lincoln- hating the sight of any girl crying -is quick to comfort her. He looks to his sisters with a look of 'What do we do here?'

But for the first time ever...his sisters were stumped. This was completely unprecedented. Even on their families WORST days...none of them EVER ran away from home! They never even considered it!

As Mable continued to cry...Lori grasped at the straws- "The woods! The woods around here are dangerous! What kid is going to want to stay away from a modern house? He'll be back here soon!...right?" She asked desperately...the rest of her sisters gave reluctant affirmations...

...3 days later...

Mable just sat on the porch- "IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS!" She screamed as she rocked back and forth erratically...

"Yes...so it has been." Said a truly lost sounding Lori. While Lincoln stayed to comfort Mable, the girls congregated.

Luan looked particularly bleak. "Guys...did I...BREAK a family?" She asks with trepidation.

"What- No, I- Well, I guess technically." Lori shook her head. "Look! This- this is weird, sure- But their siblings! Like us! And we always forgave each other in the end! This...this is taking longer, sure- But of course it'll end well!" She tried to reaffirm.

"I don't know...I think this time is different." Pipped up Lucy suddenly. "What do you mean?" Asked Lori.

Lucy gave her trademark sigh. "Haven't you noticed that since we've gotten here...things are different? it's like the lights been snuffed out a bit...and darkness has creeped in..."

Luna sighed. "Look Lucy we don't have time for your morbid leanings- "That's just it!" Interrupted Lucy. "Ever since we've gotten here, I've been able to think much DARKER thoughts then usual! I actually briefly considered making out with a corpse! It's like...it's like back home there was...SOMETHING keeping me from being as dark as I could be..and now it's gone...

Seeing that her sisters were too busy vomiting, she continued: "And I know it's not just me! look at us! Luan's prank had ACTUAL consequences! And Lori is second-guessing her relationship with Bobby! Again, two things that would never have happened back at home!"

"What!?" Gasped Lori. "Who told you- I mean, it's not true! I just- I just need to get home- Be with Bobby and I'll be fine! Everything will be fine!"

It was then that Stan coughed to get their attention. They all turned to him. "Wow...I really know how to pick a time to be the bearer of MORE bad news." Said Stan attempting to joke it off...which of course fell flat...

...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T EXIST!?

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**Loud falls ch. 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: this chapter was collaborated by Wolvenstrom, give his stories a read!  
**

...

Lincoln was relaxing on a bed in his undies reading an ace comic...trying VERY hard not to think of the horrifying revelation that had been revealed yesterday...and failing miserably...

...Yesterday...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T EXIST!?"

Shouted all the loud siblings at once. Stan sighed, "Look...I don't know what to tell you. But Soos looked up all the information you gave him on his computer...and he got nothing. Your parents, your house, your town, your names...none of it exists...it's like you literally dropped into existence several weeks ago."

Lisa chuckled, "No offense to Soos, but clearly you need a REAL genius's second opinion." She said smugly as she got onto the computer and began to type. "See it's simply a matter of knowing how to manipulate the search engines algorithm-

Lisa trailed off as she suddenly stared at the screen in deep thought. "Of course, re-aligning the information super-highway can also work... Again she trailed off as she looked at the screen in deep thought...

"There's a lesser known hacker trick..." Began Lisa...before stopping again in mid-sentence...without a word Lisa got up and walked outside, grabbed a weird device and used it on the house.

"Lisa, what's wrong?" Asked Lincoln concerned as he and the rest of the house came out to see her. Lisa was deathly pale. "These signals...I didn't understand...but now I do..."

She turned to them...with a grim look that even Lucy couldn't match.

"We didn't just travel across state lines...we crossed the multi-verse!" Exclaimed Lisa in shock!

...

No one...no one knew what to say...what could they? To the knowledge that they may NEVER see their folks, home or friends again? It was...it was too big! Too big to fathom! So the loud kids just buried themselves in their usual activities, because...well what else could they do?

 _"Which is great if you have a unique talent or skill set like my sisters...not so much if your just a weirdo who likes to read in his undies."_ Lamented Lincoln as he read the latest ace comic- or LAST ace comic, since it apparently didn't exist here -for the 50th time.

Lincoln groaned...he was bored...and drowning in existential angst...what he wouldn't give for a-

"Lincoln?"

 _-distraction?"_ Thinks a surprised Lincoln as he sees Mable suddenly enter the room. "Hey Lincoln, I was just- she stops in her tracks flustered...then giggles. "Did I come at a bad time?" And then Lincoln remembered his lack of attire.

He blushed and covered himself with the comic, being nearly naked in front of his sisters was one thing- they were both used to it...but a non-sibling girl? That was just mortifying!

Plus...if he was being completely honest with himself...he and Mable had gotten close the past couple of days...his experience with cheering up his numerous siblings helped get Mable -somewhat- out of her depressed slump...and she had tried to cheer him up by making him more ace comics...which were actually pretty well illustrated and amazingly detailed...too bad the story stunk to high heaven and made no sense...still it was nice...one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him...

But Lincoln had no time to dwell on that! He chuckled nervously, "Oh, hey Mable- Goodbye Mable!" He shouts quickly as he tired to run from the room- "Wait, Lincoln! I need to talk to you!" Shouts Mable as she quickly grabs the only thing she could-

 **RIP!**

-his undies.

What happened next was something right out of a black and white comedy; a panicked Lincoln tries to turn around to hide his now bare rear from Mable, but trying to do that and running cause him to trip on the rug... and out a nearby open window...

 **CRASH!**

A naked and miserable Lincoln dragged himself out of the bramble bushes with a groan, "Well...that could'a gone worse I guess." Said Lincoln miserably- Right as he walked into Tambry.

Tambry chuckles at the flustered and nude little boy before her, "Now why did you say that? You know that's only trouble!" She teased as she took ten pictures before Lincoln could even blink.

Lincoln gulped...but nodded in resignation. When it came to Tambry...well, what could you say about her? Now Lincoln could see where his friend Clyde had been coming from...falling in love with an older, stronger, more virile girl. Their interactions have mainly been her playfully teasing him...his heart raced whenever she was near him...

Tambry sighed, "Okay Lincoln...this is a good a time as any...ordinarily I'd mess around and tease someone like you for awhile...maybe humiliate them a couple more times online like I did just now." Explained Tambry as she forwarded those pictures to dozens of people. "But I just learned that Wendy was so bummed about the whole Dipper fiasco, that shortly after she found out he left home...she went into the woods to find him..and she hasn't been seen since...her idiot father only NOW just realized it be better to tell other people to help." Tambry groused that last part annoyed.

She turned back to Lincoln, "Bottom Line: I don't have time to play around with you anymore, I need to go find my friend, Wendy is better at this sort of thing then I am so I'll just be blunt, your cute but I'm into BIG men not 'little' boys."

Lincoln flustered as she gave some very unneeded emphasis to the word 'little' while giving a meaningful glance toward his crotch- which he only now had the mind to cover up.

Tambry apologized as she then quickly ran off to join a search party...now Lincoln had ANOTHER thing in common with Clyde...having your heartbroken by an older girl...great...now he was thinking about Clyde...and now Ronnie Anne...neither of which he'd be seeing again!

Lincoln let out a yell of frustration and ran into the woods, tears glistening down his face...

Mable, meanwhile. Having watched most of this from the window could only think: " _Probably best I should just take the fact I saw his wiener too...and laughed at it to my grave."_ Realized Mable.

...

Lincoln trudged through the wilderness naked and humiliated... Nothing had been going right for him lately...first he'd been ripped away from his home forever- and if he was being honest with himself the first girl he loved - Then he fled and hid like a coward when his sisters needed him the most...the same sisters who were now going through all sorts of things he couldn't help him with...and now to add insult to injury; a new girl he liked had pretty much told him 'not going to happen' and mocked his manhood...

Lincoln looked down at his crotch and sighed. Who was he kidding? It was a boyhood...and even THAT was being too generous. Lincoln snarled, "Why can't I be a real man!?" He shouts as he furiously punches himself in the crotch-

Lincoln whimpers as he drops to his knees clutching his groin. "OW! SWEET MOTHER OF BLOOD, WHY DID I DO THAT!? I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!"

"NO ARGUMENTS HERE!" Shouts a booming voice as it laughed. Lincoln turned...and promptly wet himself in fear of the giant monster standing before him...which was gross since he'd basically just peed in his hands...

"Eww! Gross! Why!?" Shouted the unlucky boy as he tried to wash his hands in a nearby stream...only to realize he'd just flashed the monsters. The beast took one look at his privates and laughed even harder!

Awww! Did little baby-dick pee himself?" He mocked.

Lincoln blush could be seen from mars...dreadfully embarrassed and terrified of the monster Lincoln tried to run off. But the beast grabbed him before he could get too far.

"Okay hold on, I can't in good conscious allow a prick that tiny to continue existing...how'd you like to make it bigger? Become a REAL man?" Lincoln's eyes widened, although still wary of the beast...he REALLY needed a win right now.

The beast introduced himself as Chutzpar the Manotaur, he told Lincoln how if he passed his clans trials then they'd give him a secret elixir to increase his 'endowment'.

"LIKE THIS!" Shouts Chutzpar as he briefly rips off his loincloth. Lincoln promptly vomited...but he had to admit...it was 'well endowed'. So he agreed...

"Great!" Shouts Chutzpar, but then gets a thoughtful look, rips off a small part of his loincloth and gives it to Lincoln, "Yeah, you'll need to cover yourself...otherwise my brothers will be too busy laughing to test you."

Lincoln grumbles, but puts on the make-shift loincloth and follows him to the Manotaur's 'man cave'-

...

Slenderman yawned. **"Yeah, yeah. We've ALL seen the training musical montage a hundred times now, skip to the good stuff!"** Demands the eldritch abomination as the universe once more yields to his whims and fast forwards to Lincoln running toward the Multi-bear lair.

"Okay...the whole feeding an old guy to the leader was messed up...but can't focus on that now! I'm one trial away from proving myself a true man and getting that elixir!" Lincoln thought to himself out loud as he jumped from tree to tree. This would be tricky...apparently they'd already sent several to fight this beast...but none had returned.

"Not me! I will succeed!" Shouts Lincoln as he jumps to another tree...

Below, Tambry just looked up confused. "Lincoln?" She asks surprised. She then follows him concerned...

...

 **ROAR!**

The Multi-bear growled as it lunged at Lincoln, but Lincoln thanks to his training with both Manotaur and Lynn...mostly Lynn. He was able to overpower the multi-bear and bring his spear within slicing range of it's neck-

"YES! I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE A MAN!" Shouts Lincoln happily as he brings his spear down for the kill-

 **CLANG!**

"Maybe, but will it be a GOOD man?" Asks a familiar voice. Lincoln's eye's lit up, "Dipper? What are you doing here?" Sure enough, the missing twin brother of his new 'friend' was blocking his spear with his own spear...while also wearing only a loincloth.

Dipper sighed, "Let me guess; the Manotaur sent you here to kill him too?" Asked Dipper.

Lincoln glared, he must be after the same thing! "Yeah, and I'm going to be the one kills him! Not you!"

"Wait, what!?" Shouted Dipper right before he dodged Lincoln's spear. "Whoa! hold on Lincoln!"

But Lincoln wasn't listening, "This time is going to be different!" SLASH! "This time I'm going to be a true man!" SLASH! "A real brother!" SLASH! "NOT YOU!"

 **CLONK!**

While distracted by Fighting Dipper, the multi-bear had regained enough strength to clonk Lincoln on the head from behind, he was too weak for anything but a 'light tap'. Fortunately a 'light tap' for him still leaves Lincoln hurt and disoriented.

Dipper knew he had to act fast, he didn't really want to hurt Lincoln so that only left him one option-

 **YOINK!**

Yanked Lincoln's loincloth right off him. Lincoln groaned as he covered himself, "Okay fine...go ahead and laugh!" Dipper just smirked, "It be pretty hypocritical of me if I did that." He said as he briefly removed his own loincloth.

Lincolns eyes widened in disbelief, "Wha- your a teeny too?"

"Well, technically yes, but he still seems to be a bit bigger then you." Pointed out the multi-bear. "Dude, not helping!" Shouted back Dipper. He turns back to Lincoln, "Point is...I know what it feels like to be considered 'inadequate' by the standards of the world...but you just...you just can't let that get to you...their are so many more important 'real' things to worry about then what random strangers think of you..."

Lincoln snorted, "Easy for you to say. Teeny or not...your a better man then I am." He admitted depressed.

Dipper just face-palmed, "Okay Lincoln, how about we skip all the drama and you just explain to me what's going on here?" Lincoln sighed...but relented and told him everything...

How he'd been feeling less of a man and less of brother after he ran like a coward from the dragon while Dipper- A guy they barely knew! -stepped up and saved them all...and broke their hearts.

"Wait, what was that last bit?" Asked Dipper confused. Lincoln paled- brief image of his angry older sister filled his mind -Uh...that's not important! What is important is that...you saved MY sisters...and I...I failed them." He admitted remorsefully.

Dipper shook his head and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Lincoln, your eleven, and you've only just started to experience the weird. Nobody expects you stand up to a dragon. Nobody expects 'anyone' to be brave enough to stand up to a dragon. Your not a failure of a brother."

"Your just saying that." Insisted Lincoln.

"No, really. If anything you seem to be 'too' good of a brother. The stories they've all been telling, what you've done for all of them. If what I'm hearing is right then you go out of your way to help them more than they've ever done the same for you. Sure you can be a jerk sometimes. But so can I. So can Mabel. Or your sisters. Your angry at yourself for not being some perfect Gary Stu that always does the right thing and always makes everything better. That's not being a failure Linc, that's being an actual human being." asserted Dipper.

And so he, Lincoln and Multi-bear talked on for many hours...They go over everything...life, the multi-verse...and family. Dipper relates his own failings...the time he's spent alone in the forest has allowed him to be more self-aware of his own issues. How he can let his insecurities get the better of him, he could be selfish, obsessive, a control freak...possibly even an unhealthy martyr complex and nightmare fetish... They realized could have handled things better in many instances...but also that there were ways the others involved could have done the same...

Lincoln thanks Dipper and the multi-bear and promises to return. "What you going to do now?" Asked Dipper. Lincoln sighed, "Have a long...and terrible conversation with my sisters..."

Dipper nodded and wished him luck as he left the cave...

Almost as soon as he was gone, Wendy clad in only a leopard-skin bikini walks out of the foliage and into the cave with a large caribou wrapped across her back. "I brought dinner! What did I miss while I was gone?" She asked.

Dipper smirked, "got a few hours? It's a long one- "Wait, I thought the two of you weren't friends anymore after the dragon incident? Also, why is she here.? And what happened to her clothes?" Asked Multi-bear head fifteen.

The other heads groaned, "Dang it man! Pay attention to what's happening around you! They resolved everything during the 'woodpecker incident'!"

...

Slenderman suddenly interrupted the story and smirked at the readers, **" that's right! you heard it here! I'm going to attempt a flashback that (more or less) recreates the Milo Murphy 'Woodpecker incident'!...assuming it's popular enough...or I get enough ideas via reviews...or I don't get bored and chuck the whole thing and flip you suckers off...but enough about that! Stop derailing the story you idjiots! We don't have all day!"**

...

Lincoln sighed as he wandered down the mountain, Seeing his loincloth was coming undone he took a knee and tried to re-tie it...the Manotaur musk on it briefly reminded him of who gave it to him...

 _"In hindsight...the whole 'ate an old man' REALLY should have been more of a red_ _flag."_ Ha admitted to himself, sure he wasn't into Baba...but that didn't mean those who liked it should die! No, best he just severe all ties to those all-male jerks- _Huh, wait if their all male...then how do they reproduce? How do-_

 **HELP!**

...

Tambry was scared, she'd been heading in the direction that Lincoln had went when she'd been ambushed and pinned down by all these giant horned monsters in loincloths...

"OH, YEAH! TIME FOR FUN!" Screamed the testosterone overdosed creatures as they started to take off their loincloths and rip off Tambry's clothes.

Leaderar laughed, "first frack is mine!" He leaned his massive junk toward tambry, who was REALLY starting to sob now-

 **SLICE!**

Leaderar screamed as his massive genitals were sliced clean off and blood gushed from it. Lincoln didn't wait to admire his victory, he jumped in for the kill! The other Manotaur tried to fight- But without loincloths to hold them back, their massive junk was getting in their way; knocking each other over and accidentally getting stepped on by each other.

Lincoln effortlessly castrated the lot of them, they were such big targets...he'd have to be blind to miss! The Manotaur tried to retaliate in kind...but Lincoln prick was so tiny that it was impossible for them to slice! Plus, his lack of girth helped him to be more agile then them.

Finally, he had won...he left the Manotaur to bleed to death and checked on Tambry.

"Tambry are you okay?" Asked Lincoln...then blushed when he saw that the poor girl was only wearing scraps...leaving not much to the imagination...

Tambry just smiled, "I'm great...thanks to you." Without warning, she swept Lincoln up and made out with him for several minutes." Lincoln was dazed when she finished. "B-but...I...I'm...I'm a little boy?" He asked confused and disoriented.

Tambry looked at the beasts around her and gave a dismissive snort, "Yeah, well a bunch of 'big' men just tried to rape me and a 'little' boy just saved me. So clearly my taste in men suck." She said firmly...then smirked.

"I'll have to do something about that." She admitted as she allowed the few remaining scraps of her clothes fall to the ground. "Naturally it's only THEN that Lincoln realized that he hadn't fastened his loincloth properly before the fight, and had come off...thus giving Tambry a birds eye view of his...'excitement'.

Lincoln covered himself as the cute, older, naked girl walked to him...and leaned down to his ear. "You may have the genitals of a girl Lincoln...but you have the heart of a true hero...and a hero should get a 'reward'...don't you think?" She asked that last part suggestively.

Lincoln was now a flustered, babbling mess. "Wh-wha- I- You- What is- How- I-

Tambry laughed as she gave him one last parting kiss, "That's okay...you think about it. My offer still stand and You know where to find me." She turns around, gives her rear another suggestive shake and disappears into he foliage.

After a few minutes...Lincoln pulled himself together...and left the mountain, more confident then ever!

Meanwhile, a still naked Tambry was hiding int he bushes trying not be seen. _"Okay...I may not have thought this through."_ Admitted an embarrassed Tambry to herself...

...

Mable yawned as she got out of bed and walked downstairs. _"I wonder where Lincoln has been the whole day...I hope he's feeling better after getting dumped like tha- HELLO!"_ Thought Mable to herself excited as she saw a nearly naked Lincoln grab some provisions and all of his stuff, leave a note...and run out to the woods...

A flustered Mable ran over to read the note...and gasped! It was a note explaining how he meet with Dipper, they had a talk and realized that Lincoln's old world seemed to run on 'cartoon logic'.

He lists examples like Negative continuity(stuff like vanzilla being fine the next day after they totaled it. Or how their mad at each other one day, but completely forget about it the next), Aesop Amnesia(the seemingly contradicting lessons of when Lynn fought with Lucy and Lincoln had to resolve it...but doing the same thing between Lori and Leni made it worse?), and status Quo(no matter what they do to each other or to other people they never face any consequences, the next day their free to do whatever they want and they go back to loving each other).

But now that their in another world...it's like their in a 'last action hero' situation...their no longer bound to the parts they played...their slowly changing...and it was allowing him to question things...like...were they a REAL family? Did they REALLY love each other? or did the universe they were in just make them love each other no matter what because the 'plot' demanded it? TV was chock full of examples of families that in real life...would've killed each other or disbanded years ago...were they that?

Lincoln didn't want to think that...but...the more he thought about it...the more he realized he'd let his sisters get away with a LOT. He actually admitted that he didn't want to face them right now because he was scared to find out if he was RIGHT(Mable is in tears when it also implies that Dipper is starting to wonder the same thing...).

But more importantly...Lincoln is starting to wonder...dose he WANT to be Lincoln Loud anymore? Lincoln Loud was always a buttmonkey. Lincoln Loud always put others before himself to an almost unhealthy degree...dose he WANT to be that person anymore? Or at least a different version of that?...he just didn't know...

Which was why that for the time being...he was going to go into the wilderness alone to think over his life...but he promised to return whenever they truly NEEDED him.

Mable thought over this letter long and hard...and finally came to a decision...

...

Lincoln was wandering through the woods- "WAIT! LINCOLN!" Lincoln turns around and is surprised to see Mable, loaded down with things run after him panting. "Mable what are you doing here?" Asked Lincoln.

Mable panted a little more. "Lincoln...I want to go with you!"

Lincoln's eyes widened, "Mable I...what?"

"I read your note...and it made me wonder things about myself! Like...me and Dipper have always been together. But as we got older and Dipper got smarter, and started bringing home awards and stuff, I started to feel less adequate compared to him. So I started yelling 'alpha twin' every time I got one over him. Being taller or older then him even if by only minutes.

Mable sighed. "I felt that I needed to prove I could be better than him at something, even if it meant being the loudest or most colorful. " Mable gave her shooting star sweater a loving caress. "That's what the sweaters were for even in summer. It was all 'look at me, Mabel! Aren't I awesome?!'"

The she starts to take it off. "But...trying to prove that I'm better than him in some ways...was still her defining myself by him." She shivered as the crisp evening air caressed her now exposed white undershirt...but she ignored it as she cast aside her sweater...and her old life.

"I'm not sure I wanna keep being Mabel Pines either. Or at least 'this' version of her. Maybe we can find out who we wanna be...together?" She asked Lincoln...Lincoln...well, he was wondering if Mable was really just '12'...also that she really should consider wearing a bra...especially on cold nights like this.

Thinking more with his 'other head'...he dumbly nodded. An excited Mable smirked as she gave him a hugged...then for the first time in her assertive extrovert life...she was nervous around a boy...as she felt his 'excitement' through his loincloth.

 _"Why is he still wearing- No Mable! Don't question it...just...enjoy it."_ She giggled mischievously to herself as they both walked away further into the woods hand in hand...only for a shivering Mable to quickly run back and grab the discarded sweater. "Dang, it's chilly out!" She shouted as she tied the sweater around her waist while her teeth chattered, before running after Lincoln again...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: well you heard the abomination! Any idea's for a 'woodpecker incident' flash back?**

 **AN: I know it's been revealed recently that the Manotaur have one female, just roll with me!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Loud falls ch. 5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: This chapter was made possible thanks to Wolvenstroms's creativity**

 **...**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

The departure of Lincoln and Mable had immediate ramifications; the loud family began to panic and cry. The contents of Lincoln's letter REALLY got to them...but Lori angrily denied it and successfully calmed them down.

Stan claiming he had a 'moral/legal' obligation to find them, so he left Soos in charge- his squee of delight shattered glass -and made the kids stay while he looked in the woods...that was 5 days ago...he hadn't come back...

...

For the most part, the girls listened to Lori and dismissed Lincolns claims and continued- although still increasingly worried about Lincoln and feeling guilty about Lincoln -on as they were...until-

"LANA! GIVE IT BACK!" "NO! YOU GIVE IT BACK!" A familiar sight; Lana and Lola fighting...the Loud sisters don't even give it a second glance...not even-

"I SAID LET GO!" Shouted Lana as she kicked Lola in the stomach...sending her crashing down the steps...

"Oh, dude! I'll call an ambulance!" Shouted a panicky Soos. Lori rolled her eyes, "Relax big guy, they've been through worse- Lola! Get up already! I need you to do a favor for me!"

...but Lola didn't move... "Lola stop fooling around! Seriously, I need help with this!" But Lola STILL didn't move...also-

"Uh...what's that red stuff coming out of Lola's ear?" Asked a suddenly very concerned Luna.

Needless to say, everyone(minus an unrepentant Lori) was suddenly VERY happy that Soos called an ambulance...

...

Several hours later, most of the Loud family is waiting in the hospital concerned...except possibly Lori. She just seemed to look impatient, when the doctor came up-

"Is she done yet? We need to get home for supper" , said a very aloof sounding Lori.

The doctor looked at her aghast, "What? No, she's not done! Your little sister has broken several of her bones and ruptured several vital organs! Not to mention got a rather severe concussion! Your sister isn't going anywhere!"

Lori's aloof expression fell off... "What?" She asked baffled, "No, that can't be right...she's- She's always fin-

"Is she with you?" Lori turns around to see a sobbing Leni being gently escorted by Blubs and Durland, "Leni, what happened?" Asked Lori concerned. "(sniff) I- I went to see if- (sob) -anything at the gift shop matched my shirt...I grabbed something, it fell- EVERYONE KEPT YELLING AT ME!" Leni broke down in tears.

Blubs just patted her on the back, "There, there. It's all over, the 'big meanies' are gone- here have a Wolly-pop." Said Blubs in a comforting voice as he handed over said treat. Leni politely thanked him and took it and went over to be comforted by Luna.

Blubs glared at Lori, "What is wrong with you girl?! Letting your little sister wander off like that!? The poor girl broke several displays and nearly got thrown out before she broke down in tears! Your lucky I'm a softy for 'special needs' kids- points over to Durland, who nods -otherwise I'd have thrown the book at her for all the damage-

"Wait, special needs kid?!" Exclaimed Lori, "What are you- Leni isn't mentally handicapped!" She countered angrily.

Blubs gave her a 'look', "Girl, she can't even do the alphabet! ...Which would be funny if this were a TV show...not so much in real life."

"Sounds like she has a serious problem', Interrupts a doctor. "By the sound of it...either she has a undiagnosid condition or your parents have been slipping her pills all these years...Possibly explaining how she has several savant like skills, but poor overall knowledge." He rambles-

Lynn scoffs, "Yeah, whatever egghead...that could apply to anyone of us..." Her smile fell off her and all her other sisters as the implications of that statement sink in...making them wonder of their own state of being...

Lori growled, "girls, girls! Come on! Stop thinking about what Lincoln said! It's crazy!"

"Crazier then getting dragged to another universe and nearly getting eaten by a dragon?" Countered Lisa skeptically.

Lori was flummoxed, "Look...that was...weird, I grant you. But come on! Were a happy, healthy, wonderfully quirky family...that's just going through a rough patch...it'll clear up soon!"

Suddenly Lori noticed something... "Wait, where's Luan?"

Blubs snapped his fingers, "Oh, right! That's why I came up to the hospital to find you...we arrested your sister today."

"WHAT!?"

"She pied several people in the face! Tripped dozens with marbles and banana peels! Don't even get me started on what she did with gelatin!"

Lori just shrugged, "So? That's just Luan being Luan- "Yeah, well 'Luan being Luan' almost got herself beaten up by an angry mob!"

"WHAT!?" Everyone exclaimed in horror. Blubs nodded, "She's in protective custody now...or as close to Gravity Falls can get to 'protective custody'...she's waiting for you to make her bail...oh and pay off all the lawsuits thrown at her."

"LAWSUITS!?" Exclaims a horrified Lori.

While the inept policeman handed her several pounds worth of subpoena's...Lori just gaped at the staggering prices... _"What- what is happening here?"_ She asks herself in disbelief..it was like her whole world was collapsing around her...

"THIS ISN'T GOING AWAY JUST BECAUSE WE WANT IT TOO! THAT'S WHY!" Shout's Lola's voice, everyone turned around just in time to see a crying Lana run from her twin sisters hospital room.

Everyone just stared in confused disbelief...

...

"So you need clothes?" Asked Lincoln awkwardly as Tambry stood naked before him and Mable. Tambry rolled her eyes, "While trying to stay out of other people's sight...I ended up lost in this stupid forest for several hours- I only finally found a way out...only to find it's been several DAYS!? How dose that happen?!"

Lincoln nodded, "Yeah, this forest is crazy." He tried very hard not to think of the attractive, NAKED teen girl in front of him. For once he was actually thankful for his...shortcoming...as his 'excitement' would be visible to both girls.

...Sadly for him, Tambry's skill eye for detail on the web and humiliation in real life, allowed her to easily see the almost microscopic 'bulge' in his loincloth...and Mable...Mable was just close enough to see it...and she seethed in irritation.

Then she got an idea, "Hey, I got an idea how Tambry can leave here right now!" Shouts Mable as she slaps Lincoln on the back as well as 'accidentally' slapping him in the loin area.

Lincoln turned bright red as Mable started to go into the nearby bush...and throw out her clothes for Tambry to use...in a very slow...suggestive manner.

Lincoln once more cursed that the minatour had apparently burnt his old clothes..and the rest of his clothes at the shack had been sold by Stan, forcing him to keep wearing this loincloth...which if he was being honest was rather lacking in the 'cloth' part-

 _rip_

Lincoln's eye's widened as the lower part of his cloth got 'accidentally' snagged and ripped off by the ring on Tambry's finger as she walked by. Leaving him with even less to cover himself!

Tambry, giggled. "Oops, my bad." She teased. Not fooled by Mable's 'generosity'. Sought to get one over her. "Thanks for this Mable", she says as she puts on her sweater. "I'll just- UFF! It's a bit tight in the chest area..really hope I don't rip it." She said passive aggressively.

Mable flustered as she covered her bare chest at that comment. "Oh, don't worry about that. I won't need those clothes anymore. She said as he plucked some fauna and flora and got to work...

Soon, she was leaving the bush, clad in a flowing leaf loincloth and a top consisting of two _tiny_ fig leaves.

"What do you think Lincoln?"

Lincoln just gaped, while Tambry just glared...

...

It took awhile for the sisters to find lana...and from her blubbering they were able to summarize that lola hadn't been too forgiving to her...and in fact wanted nothing to do with her.

Lynn looked at her shocked, "But...she's always forgiven you before!" Lana whimperd as she cried, "She says she's in too much pain! Also...she's looked back at a lot of our fight's...and she feels like she'd been way too forgiving...and asked what...what kinda relationship is it for siblings to have...if they do nothing but fight? Also...also we have nothing in common! Were as different as night and day!" She breaks down sobbing again, "and she's right! I-I don't know why I never thought of any of this before..."

"Because you couldn't." Stated Lucy flatly. "The same reason my wearing black suddenly makes me stick out like a sore thumb and I'm no longer able to sneak up on people anymore...or Lisa isn't as smart as she used to be."

Lisa sighed, "It's true...I'm still a super genius...but not to the point where I could create a nuclear reactor using nothing but common household items...Looking back...it was ridiculously impossible of me to have done that! For all intents and purposes...many of the devices I built shouldn't have worked period!"

Luna looked around at her saddened/freaked out siblings...then sighed. "Girls...I think we've avoided talking about this long enough...we need to consider...consider that Lincoln is-

"NO! WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THIS!" Everyone turned around to see a furious Lori, "NOW STOP FOOLING AROUND AND YOU AND LOLA MAKE UP ALREADY LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!" She screams.

Lana looked at her scared, "Uh...Lori, she doesn't-

"THEN I'LL MAKE HER! YOU ALL NEED TO GET OVER YOURSELVES!" She grabs Lanna and tries to force her to come.

"I- Lori! Your hurting me!" Shouted Lana.

"Lori, that's enough!" Shouts Luna as she forces them apart.

Lori glared as her sisters stood up to protect their sobbing sister from her.

"FINE! BE THAT WAY! FORGIVE ME FOR TRYING TO HELP!" Snarls Lori as she storms away from the increasingly broken family...none saw the tears in Lori's eyes as she leaves...

...

"Well, this is a STICKY situation." Joked Luan-

 **SPLAT!**

Which caused more tomatoes thrown at her...turns out 'protective custody' in Gravity Falls means 'throw her in the stockade so their victims can laugh and pelt you with rotten fruit and veggies'.

Luan sighed, _"At least they ran out of manure..._

 **SPLAT!**

 **...**

Lori ran from the hospital in tears. _What is happening recently? Could...Could Lincoln have been ri- NO! DON'T EVEN THINK THAT! YOUR GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS, GET BACK HOME, BE A HAPPY FAMILY AGAIN, MARRY BOBBY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE AGAIN! LIKE IT ALWAYS IS! IT'S ALL STUPID LINCOLNS FAULT ANYWAY! RUNNING AWAY FROM US...WHO DOSE THAT!?"_

Her train of thought was interrupted as she saw a familiar white haired boy enter the forest- "LINCOLN! YOU ARE IN SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE!" She shouted as she ran into the woods...never seeing the life-sized Lincoln puppet hovering above her.

Slenderman (somehow)smirked...he then (somehow)drank a glass of water as he turned his puppet to the reader. "Silly Lori, don't you know what won't kill you will only make you-

 **CRACK!**

 **-stranger?"** Finished Slenderman as his hand suddenly expanded from within the puppet, destroying it.

...

Luna looks through the world wide web...and sees all the reports on how families with large numbers of kids...struggled to survive or pay for everything. _"Huh...we'd always complained about not always having enough...but now that I think about it...we actually were pretty okay...at least compared to these families,"_ Thought Luna with a wince as she read more horror stories of families in that same situation, silently resolving to never complain about her lot in life again.

...

"Lincoln come out! I know your here!" Shouts Lori impatiently as she wandered deeper into the woods...then she saw a tuft of white in a bush. "A-HA!" She shouted as she grabbed him. "Your in so much trouble-

She paled as she pulled out white-haired wolverine...who was now snarling at the one who interrupted his nap, "Eep." Whispered Lori just as the wolverine lunged at her.

...

Lisa shook her head as she crunched the numbers. "I hate to say it...but your right, with mom and dads meager incomes compared to the costs of raising so many children...there is no way we should've been able to live as well as we did..." She admitted sadly to an even more somber Luna.

...

Lori, now covered in scratches and her clothes in tatters...FINALLY manged to give the wolverine the slip. It ran past the cave she'd thrown herself in. Lori let out a sigh of relief she stepped forward to get a better look to make sure the beast was gone-

 **Crunch.**

Lori's eye's widen at the 5, formerly-asleep, snarling wolves who's tails she's just stepped on- "OH, COME ON!" She shouts as they jump at her, she tries to flee-

 **CHOMP!**

 **OUCH!**

Shouted Lori in pain as the wolf bit her bottom and tore off her seat cover, a flustered Lori frantically covered her now exposed rear as she ran from the wolves-

...

"Is there a contest we can win to get her out?"

"No."

"Maybe we could do something for you to get her out?"

"That's illegal, so no."

"Is there a zany, weird law that'll allow us to spring her?"

"surprisingly no, this is actually one of our few straightforward laws."

"Okay, how about-

Blubs was getting impatient. "Kids, you can spout out all the sit-com cliches you want...none of them will work here! Your sister has disturbed the peace and 'technically' assaulted so many people with her pies, and cracked so many bad puns...it total up to 7 days in jail and 500 hours community service!" He shouts at the sisters.

"Well at least you won't have me BARRED and quarted." Said Luan as she taped her jail cell bars meaningfully. "Right, that pun just bumped you up to 14 days and 800 hours." Stated Blubs flatly.

"Dang it." Whimpered Luan as she tried not to cry in front of her siblings...

...

"Oh, you hear about friendly dolphins all the time rescuing people. So I tried to grab one- BUT IT'S A SHARK! A SHARK! And then I thought it couldn't get worse, BUT THE OCTOPUS IS WORSE THEN THE SHARK!" Babbled Lori as she climbed out of the river, pulling an octopus off her face, "I HATE THIS PLACE!" Shouted Lori, seeing as her pants and underwear had been ripped completely away...she'd quickly used the remains of her shirt to use as a skirt, with nothing but her bra covering her chest.

"Well, you don't see that everyday." Said a voice behind her. Lori looks up to see a flustered Dipper carrying wood. Lori glared, "YOU!" She began to march up the muddy slope.

"Wha- I didn't see anything, I swear!" Shouted a flustered Dipper.

But Lori was beyond caring, "Your the one that filled Lincolns head with all that garbage! Your the reason my family is falling apart!"

Lincoln glared, "Oh, that's rich coming from the sister who kicked her brother out of the house and made him fend for himself for being 'bad luck'!"

Lori blanched at that, "Wha- We, we already sorted that out! Besides...what would you have done if your sister was-

"I would have stayed by her side, I would've helped her through it! I WOULD'VE NOT THROWN OUT ALL HER STUFF!"

Lori looked at him shocked..."oh." She said in surprise.

"Your always treating him horribly! Like with the time with the earplugs-

"We needed his help!" Insisted Lori angrily

Dipper shook his head, "If You realized he couldn't hear you, why didn't you just tap his shoulder to get his attention?"

Lori opened her mouth to retort...then actually thought about what he said...suddenly looked embarrassed, then shook it off. T-That wasn't the point! He was trying to ignore us! His family!"

Dipper just gives her a look, "So, none of you have any earplugs for when Luna is 'rocking out'?" He asks skeptically

Again Lori blanched, usually Lincoln or any other boy would've just fallen into line at this point, not match her and even exceed her word for word! what was the deal with this kid!? "We literally don't wear them all the time!" She retorted.

Dipper wasn't moved, "Uh huh. And what is it your looking for when you threaten to hurt your sisters and brothers if they come into your room?"

"privacy." She mumbles...

Dipper nods, "As in peace and quiet."

Lori glares, "Were getting off topic here! What we do is our business! Our family!"

Dipper frowns, "Interesting how your 'family' favors the girl side and leaves Lincoln or all the boys with all the work."

"What?!" Demanded Lori.

Dipper shrugs, "Take your boyfriend Bobby for instance- Lori tenses up -He's absolutely devoted to you, loves, and dose whatever you ask."

Lori smirks, "Yeah, he's great."

Dipper frowns, "But what about the other way around?"

"...Excuse me?"

"I'm asking...have you ever done something nice...FOR him? What about his likes? His needs? his wants? Do you know them?"

Lori...opens her mouth...pauses...then gaps in horror...she could think of nothing!

Dipper nods, "A 'relationship that exists solely for your sake...sounds less like a relationship...and more like being a slav-

"SHUT UP! WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?" Screamed Lori, she'd had enough of this! "Enough of this! Your coming with me! Making up with your sister and making Lincoln get over himself!"

She shouts as she jumps forward and tries to grab Dipper, but Dipper- using what few things he'd learned from the manitour -used her own height and body weight against her, causing the surprised teen to flip over-

 **SPLAT!**

 **RIP!**

Lori tumbled down the muddy slopped, her bra ripped off on twig in said mud...she flopped down flat in the muddiest puddle you ever did see..for a moment she just lie there...more stunned then anything...and then it hit her...everything that happened in the last several weeks...never seeing her friends, her parents, Lilly, Never seeing Bobby again, questioning if he was truly right for her, her brother leaving, her family slowly but Shirley falling apart in this strange new land...the last few torturous hours...it all hit her at once..and she brook down sobbing...

"OH WHO AM I KIDDING?! MY FAMILY IS FALLING APART AND I CAN'T STOP IT!" She continued to sob...she kept sobbing...until someone hugged her...wiped her tears away...and gave her a roasted sparrow to eat...

...okay that last thing was gross, but she appreciated the comfort...and so he finds herself spilling her heart and soul out to Dipper...she last track of time...but now...now the moon was in the sky...

Lori just sighs, "Lincoln was worried that he was basing his worth on us? Heh, yeah...I know how that feels."She Curls in on herself.

"All I had was being the oldest. Their leader. The one in charge..."

Dipper frowns at this, "Lori...those aren't things that las..."

"I KNOW!" She screams and tears up again. "Everyone's getting older. Everyone's getting bigger. All able to do more on their own. They...they won't need me forever. Other big sisters look forward to when the little brats mom and dad make them take care of grow up and stop bothering them. Me? I'm terrified that I'm going to have to look 'up' to look Lincoln in the eye. That Luna will be driving soon. That Lynn will be able to pin me to the floor when we get unto a fight...I'm scared off my brother and sisters growing up, because it means I'll lose the only thing I have left that makes me special, and I can't stop them aging. it's going to happen and there's nothin can dooooabout I-Ih-ih Iiiitt."

Again she cries, Dipper pats her on the back. "Look...I know things are messed up right now...but...well, honestly we need to move this conversation to my cave...it's not safe out here at night." He admitted sadly.

A strange snarl echoing far away from an odder beast helped to underline his point. Lori fearfully nodded...and got up...only for her leg to give out from under her after being asleep from not moving so long and the tattered remains of her make-shift skirt to give up the ghost and fall to pieces...leaving her filthy and naked in front of an increasingly flustered boy.

Lori just sighed, "Whatever...just...whatever...can we PLEASE just go to your cave...?" Dipper, not knowing what else to say...helps her limp forward. He even takes off his loincloth so she dosen't feel as embarrassed...the sight of his small prick almost brings a smile to Lori's face...almost...

Lori just limps along...deep in thought, _"So what now? I can't think of how to handle my family...even if I saw Bobby again...it wouldn't be the same...Dipper...Dipper is right...such a relationship isn't healthy...but again, where dose that leave me? I-_

 ** _SPLOP!_**

Suddenly her leg feel down a gopher hole, causing her to fall-

smeck

-right on a surprised Dipper's lips...and it was the best dang kiss she ever got! Lori whimpered to herself, _"Annnd my life now sucks beyond measure..."_

...

Meanwhile, Clyde stops putting up 'Missing' posters of both his best friend and beloved...when he felt it. "Why do I feel like beating up a kid who's older then me?" He asks out loud confused...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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